I just want things to go back to normal again. And I hate how the world doesn’t work that way. Why can’t we be allowed to go back and fix things? Why can’t we undo the past? Who says we always have to keep moving forward? Sometimes we should be allowed to go back and change something if we’re not okay with it. Sometimes we need to go back.
I hated her for leaving that night, and I hated myself, too, not only because I let her go but because if I had been enough for her, she wouldn’t have even wanted to leave.
I didn’t knew what real pain felt like until I heard you say you love someone else now.
I don’t want to kill myself.
It’s just that sometimes I can’t understand anything and sometimes it feels like the weight of the universe settles itself on my shoulders and I can’t see the reason for anything. I don’t want to die, really, but I don’t particularly want to live.
Sometimes I wish I could slip away while I sleep. Wake up some place better. Some place quieter.
But I don’t believe in heaven so I’m not sure where that place would be.